Dr Drakken Takes the Day Off
by SecretLittleKappa
Summary: Dr. Drakken, fed up with the pressures of super-villian life, find himself being forced to go on vacation. Who knew that holidaying could be this difficult?


**Notes: Who KNOWS how this is going to turn out. Went on a Kim Possible marathon and fell in love with the show again. And of course, these two characters.**

**So obviously I had to write **_**something**_**. :P**

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"I quit!"

"You what?"

Drakken lent over the arm of his chair, arching in a perfected gesture of drama. Said the words in a trembling sob, just how he'd practised. "I…_quit_!" Threw a hand over his eyes. Peeked.

Shego was still turned around, typing away at the mega-computer. Probably doing something ridiculous. Like _working_. "Quit? What – Ballroom for Beginners? Already?"

"What? Why would I do that?"

"Ugh. Nevermind."

"_Well?_"

"Well, what?"

"Well – don't you want to know _what_ it is I'm quitting?"

A brief pause as Shego raised a contemplative finger to her lips. "Nah. I'm good." And with a shrug, her fingers were back at the keyboards.

"MY DAY JOB!" Drakken was on his feet, leaping in the way of the screen, wondering how much he could sell it for online. "I'm quitting my day job, Shego! I quit! Throw in the towel! Give up! Cash it in! _Bail!_" He dragged himself over to the arm chair again. Threw his face into his arms. Peeked.

This time, Shego was looking. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me!" He tried to make it sound as painful as possible. Because it was. Really.

Shego folded her arms, eyes narrowing in contempt. "You're quitting your day job."

"That's correct."

"Riight. Well, I can see one problem in this, uh, yeah – you don't _have_ a day job!"

Silence as the doctor stared at her, as if _she_ was the stupid one.

"I mean, how can you call this a day job?" The raven-haired sidekick gave a brief wave at the empty cavern around them. It was late evening, so most of the henchmen had turned in for the day. Not that they had many left after Drakken had spent their last penny on that stupid new generic Doomsday Device now sitting in the corner, already smashed in several places thanks to yesterday's run in with Kim Possible. Like that hadn't been totally predictable.

Sometimes she wondered whether she really _was_ on the wrong side.

"Evil is my day job, Shego!" cried Drakken with dramatic flair. "Evil is my _life!_"

"So, let me get this straight—" and Shego, unable to help herself, snorted "—you're going to quit _evil?_ Seriously?"

"Of course I'm serious! Does this face look like it's joking?"

"Um. Okay, I'm not going to answer that, but I'm going to take the bait here and ask _why_."

The moment Drakken had been waiting for. If only there was a microphone and a stage to help him along. Of course, there was always the power of imagination. So with one hand, he mimed the action, straightening up, dusting himself off and brushing back his spike of hair with two delicate fingers. "Well, now that you're asking—"

Shego rolled her eyes, itching to walk away now and save her ears while she still could.

"—I'm at the end of my rope. The world of evil is just not the _same_ as it was before."

_Well that's true enough_, Shego thought, eyes on her employer. _Especially when you're already fully capable of embarrassing the so-called 'world of evil' by yourself._

"I mean, where's the creativity? The loyalty? The respect?"

"Gone with your last pay-check," muttered Shego and when Drakken delivered a bitter scowl in return, she uncrossed her arms and sighed. "So what? Just because it's getting tough you want out?"

"Well not exactly but—"

"Oh come on, Dr. D! Wake up and smell the radioactive jelly!" She stalked around him, stabbing a finger at the almost-but-not-quite-evil-overlord at every interval. "You said it yourself! Evil is your life! You're not going to throw it all away now, are you? I mean, sure Kimmy sent you to jail and her sidekick made you go bald for a month but is that all it takes to make you give up what you love?"

Drakken rubbed his prodded chest with a pained grimace. "That's going to bruise, you know…"

"What you need is a break," Shego continued, ignoring her boss with practiced expertise and pushing him back into his chair with a flick of her wrist, "and then you'll be right as rain and failing to rule the world just as much as usual – and more importantly, I can stop playing high school counsellor and actually do something productive for once." Snatching up the magazine lying beside the computer keyboard, she tossed it to him, Drakken peeling the booklet from his face and tentatively flicking through the pages.

Any criticism he had received the magazine with quickly vanished, however, and his eyes grew wide, completely absorbed, delighted even, by its contents. "Great Escapes for Super-Villains? I thought this was just another instruction manual! Where are all these places? Why have I never tried taking over them before? Oh – Oh they have the little umbrellas in the drinks – look Shego! Little umbrellas!"

"I _know_, I've _read it_."

However, after a moment he was suddenly frowning again, peering up at the woman before him in deep suspicion. "Why do you have a travel magazine? We never go on holidays!"

"Correction. _You_ never go on holidays," said Shego, seating herself back in front of the giant monitor. "Although, now that I think about it, I really should take more time off."

"You can't take time off! You're my sidekick!"

A gesture to the scrapped million-dollar Doomsday Device was all it took to send the doctor shrinking in his seat. "Yeah, well, I don't think you can afford one much longer if you don't start raking in some serious cash."

"What – you're not going to stay? What about our deeply founded bond between villain and assistant? Doesn't that count for anything?!"

"Uhhh, I'm gonna say _no_."

Drakken gaped at her, arms outstretched. "See? This is what I'm talking about! These days, _everything's_ about the money!" He scowled once he realised his audience was not longer facing him, his cry of outrage having gone completely unheard.

"Just take a little vacation and before you know it, you'll be begging to be back in the business," Shego was saying offhandedly, already too distracted to care. "And hopefully be successful at it this time."

"What was that last bit?"

"Nothing."

Leaning back, Drakken flicked through the magazine one more time, letting the idea marinate. _Take_ _a break, she says…_ Quitting was dreadfully _finite_, after all. He tried out the words. "Vacation. Vacashun. Vaca_shaun_. Am I saying it right? I mean, it sounds a little off and – you know on second thoughts, this really doesn't feel right to me—"

"SHUT UP AND GO ALREADY!"

And with a fully-packed green-flaming suitcase being launched at his head, the (ex) aspiring world-dominator found himself forced to accept what he had never been forced to accept before:

_A holiday._

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**A/N: TO BE CONTINUED… (hopefully.)  
**

**Review? :3**


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